I don’t know about you, but I’m becoming increasingly concerned with the amount of personal information that Facebook considers to be absolutely essential to the content of a persons’ page.
Take the following examples, and my responses:
Name: Shaun Booker (acceptable, otherwise who the hell would know it’s you?)
Age: Delicate subject (especially with you lovely femmes out there) but fluid. Me? Physical age (good day-50, bad day-deceased), mental age, a constant 12 years. So sue me, I’m happy with it so there you go.
Appearance: What’s it to you? You cruising for a piece of me?
My Facebook status is: “Single.” So what am I rattling on about? Well, this is a biggie for me. I am talking about people’s increasing unwillingness to put their relationship status up on Facebook. So what? The status of my personal relationship/s is my business; no one else’s. Also, it’s increasingly being used by people already adept in the use of Facebook as a weapon of choice to hurt the end party in fractious situations/splits. Weak, childish and cheap.
So what’s the solution, you may ask? It’s pretty frigging simple. It involves the utilisation of a skill rarely applied by some individuals in modern life-COMMON SENSE, YOU BRAINLESS FUCKWITS. You can LIKE and DISLIKE stuff. You can block people. There are tools to use to ease your pain. And by the way, this unique approach was originally pre-installed post-birth via an ancient process called Proper Parenting. And don’t look on Google Play for the app because it’s not there (although Angry Birds is.That says it all.)
So what of you and me? Personally, I couldn’t give a rats ass. And your view is yours so that’s cool. However, people seem to be going off it. A recent and openly unscientific poll by Buzzfeed (it’s a US internet news media company, don’t worry about it) claims that more and more people (and not just in the States, the sample gleaned was a global one) are deciding that publicly proclaiming yourself single or otherwise is somewhere between cheesy and plain weird.
Me? That’s just one source though.
Are there any other facts, figures or statistics to support this? It varies, but other esteemed pollsters claim that about 40% of twenty-somethings now prefer not to post details of their amorous affiliations online.
So what do I do, good Sir? Please, any pearls of wisdom here? Oh, alright then-I’ll do my best…
Do say: “Love is in the air, every time I look around.”
Don’t say: “Half-heartedly screwing the ass-end off each other whilst waiting for the next series of Downton Abbey.”
I thank you.