Be Nice To Your Microwave!

One culinary tip for all you aspiring chefs out there: Don’t piss an egg off. I stupidly ignored the rules of microwave cooking in trying to produce a hard-boiled egg, and was rewarded several minutes later with an explosive report and a microwave oven door bouncing off my left shoulder. Oh, and my kitchen also sported a new, avant-garde style of interior decor called “egg spatter”.

Yeah, laugh it up sports fans. But after getting a replacement, it did make me think that in these times, when there is a lamentable absence of basic cookery skills that has been furthered and magnified by successive generations, cookery is remarkably easy and most importantly, cheap to do. And don’t moan to me about rising food prices ‘cos it doesn’t wash with me. That reminds me, I still have to wash the jumper I was wearing at the time of the IED detonation (Improvised Eggplosive Device). Forgive the pun, I just had to do it.

There are so many things you can buy that you once could cook, and easily too. It’s not even more expensive. I always feel I’d be letting myself if I took the easy way out and simply bought the meal instead, and there are other, less tangible benefits as well, and other motives than expedience for cooking.

Plenty of people love cooking or, as with me, find it to be a form of relaxation. And over the years, I have fed my own family (my Mother used to love my tuna pasta bake), successive friends and ex-partners. To have the pleasure of their company and to see them enjoying my food was (and is) worth the washing up at the end of the process.

Despite the social problems that invariably affect the standard and quality of food that we consume, one tool, that can be a blessing to have, is a microwave oven. Easy to use (you paying attention, Shaun?), and remarkably effective, cheap, nutritious food, for those of you motivated enough to do so, is out there to be made. With ingredients that don’t cost the earth and giving end results that taste lovely.

They’re not hard, and some dishes that come out of Shaun’s Home Bistro include new potato salad with fried chopped smoked bacon and blanched green sliced Savoy cabbage with an olive oil and garlic dressing, and a head of celery cut in two, slightly cooked, with olive oil, red wine vinegar, sea salt, black pepper, cream cheese and chorizo; all to be enjoyed hot or not, with a crusty bit of bread for soaking up the juice.

So, I’ve made my point now. If you liked them, I’d be interested to know your thoughts on this as well. Oh, and reservations for Shaun’s Home Bistro may be made now. Sorry, no cards accepted, just cold hard cash works for me. Bon appétit.


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