After seeing this, I just had to write about it, especially as I nearly wet myself reading it. Apparently, Facebook is having a hard time believing that 23-year-old Phuc Dat Bich is a real person.
The 23-year-old Australian published a photo of his passport to prove his identity to Facebook after being repeatedly banned. The 23-year-old Australian man has resorted to desperately publishing a photograph of his passport in a failed effort to prove his name is the real deal. Phuc Dat Bich, pronounced Phoop Dook Bic, has had his Facebook account shut down numerous times, this stemming from FB’s recent change to their online policy which now requires all users to state their real names “to keep our community safe.”
So what’s the problem? For Christ’s sake, he’s only being honest and actually complying with your dingbat policy. But you still think that the poor guy does contravene this and you continue to automatically ban his associated profile page.
“I find it highly irritating the fact that nobody seems to believe me when I say that my full legal name is how you see it,” he wrote. “I’ve been accused of using a false and misleading name of which I find very offensive. Is it because I’m Asian? Is it?” Well, unfortunately, Phuc (snigger), no. You simply are the proud owner of a hilarious name whose simple utterance causes involuntary voiding of one’s bladder. Or mine, anyway.
But having such an unusual name can blight your future. “I find that people with unusual names have a really hard time, particularly as children.” said a leading researcher into the subject. No shit, Sherlock.
But let’s be liberal eh? Just popped a sprog, breeders? Why not give a try to Tombola, Dick Dastardly or Haribo? It works elsewhere! Lucifer, V8, Christ and Messiah are among the baby names rejected by New Zealand’s department of internal affairs. Fish and Chips (twins), Yeah Detroit, Keenan Got Lucy and Sex Fruit also got the kybosh, though the New Zealand judges did allow Number 16 Bus Shelter and Violence. Ah, the delicious suffering that awaits these little tykes…
However, the victor by a country mile was Talula Does The Hula From Hawaii. And a personal favourite, and surely top of the pile (excuse the pun) is this gem from Denmark: Anus.
So you think you’ve got it hard, Phuc?
And you lot over there in California, the bunch of prissy, over-politically correct dickheads calling yourself “Facebook?” We all know how effective your corporate policies are, don’t we?
This is the “social network” who decides, apparently on some strange whim, to commit strange and incomprehensible acts such as refusing to remove photographs of Hollie Gazzard, 20, posing with her ex-boyfriend, who later stabbed her 14 times while at her hair salon last year.
And in October, Breast Cancer Awareness Month, it was equally ironic that Facebook blocked users of website BLUNTmoms.com, because their photo of a breast in a mammogram machine was reported as offensive nudity, due to a couple of centimetres of nipple shown in the side-angle shot. Facebook agreed that the photo violated its community standards, and acted accordingly. And wrongly. And stupidly.
But I digress. Breeders, how some extra thought when naming. The way things are going, that poor bastard, Anus, is going to have it even harder in the future. Not only having to endure being named after one’s little chocolate starfish, think of the shit (sorry) he’ll have getting on there, let alone staying on Facebook?
And in conclusion, my considered advice to Facebook?
Go Phuc yourselves.